Fear Not

Tonight at church, we talked about the meaning of Jesus Christ's death on the cross. It was expressed that his crucifixion was a symbol of how anyone can overcome death. Meaning, when someone decides to devote their life to Christ, they essentially "die" to their old self and "resurrect" as a new creation. Because of the evening's topic, these questions were asked of us: Are we afraid of death? What do we fear? And, how do we overcome those fears?

I have never really been afraid of death, per say. However, what I do fear is the idea of dying before I've experienced life to its fullest and before I've accomplished the very things that God had given me passion and vision for. I also fear the death of my loved ones - there are just some people I don't think I could live without.

Now, I do believe that once I've passed on, I will experience an eternity in a place far too extravagant to fathom. I have this feeling that once I get to that place, I'll wonder why I ever wanted to live longer in the first place. But for now, I'm human, and I want to experience life. I figure if I have to be here, I might as well live it.

I also had some time to reflect on the things I fear. There are many things I fear on a day-to-day basis, such as receiving a pink slip at work, failing my family and friends, and not being the example God wants me to be. And then there are those things that I fear on more of a long-term scale, such as never finding someone to grow old with, being told I wouldn't be able to have kids, and not having the career I desire and have worked so hard towards. Fortunately, I don't think I'm alone in these fears.

Once I was home and walked into my room, I noticed one of the frames on my wall was crooked. Inside the frame is an inspirational message written by Marianne Williamson. My parents gave it to me last year when I lost my job at the paper and I feared that my credibility - and career - was forever gone. That whole situation caused me to lose faith in myself and in many ways, my confidence and trust in God. Needless to say, when I read the message, I fell to tears. Here's what it says:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

I see this frame everyday, but I rarely get the chance to read it. So to come home and have my attention drawn to it tonight meant a lot and it reminded me that I really have nothing to be afraid of.

~Brooke

Lessons From Above

Today was just another one of those days - I had the day off of work, but spent the majority of my day cleaning the house and running errands. Let's face it, we live in the kind of society that has to "catch up" on their days off.

But while on my way home from Target this evening, I couldn't help but notice a magnificent sunset. Now, I'm a huge fan of sunsets and have seen my share of them throughout my lifetime, but today, the golden-tangerine sky meant something different to me...

Looking up at the sky not only reminded me of God's majesty, but also of the fact that I rarely stop long enough to recognize a good thing - even if it's right in front of me. I think I'm just as guilty as anyone when it comes to getting so wrapped up in life and our daily routines that we just fail to stop, breathe, and enjoy our day, our environment, our being.

Granted, our individual situations and problems may not change or improve from day to day, but with each new day comes a new beginning. That may mean a new perspective, a new motivation, or heck, maybe even a new pair of shoes. I think we all know not to take life too seriously and, more importantly, not to take it for granted. Maybe we just need to take it one day at a time.

Walter Hagen said it simply: "You're only here for a short visit. Don't hurry. Don't worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way."

It is so easy to get caught up in life and the drama that comes attached to it, but when you take a step back and look at the big picture, the extremety of your problems seem to dwindle.

All I'm really trying to say is enjoy life. I understand that we all have responsibilities. We all have to work and balance our finances. We have relationships to repair and cultivate. We have homes and businesses to run. But let's not forget to stop and smell the flowers along the way.

Or in this case, stop to appreciate a beautiful sunset.

~Brooke

What Goes Around Comes Around

I stumbled across this cartoon strip and thought I should share. It was done 15 years ago but I find that it screams the truth when it comes to our country's current economic status.

~Brooke

Peace In My Madness

The last few months have been challenging for me, to say the least. To avoid going into too much detail, I have basically been riding a rollercoaster of emotions. While there have been feelings of joy, excitement, anticipation, satisfaction, success and peace, those have all been equally met with feelings of sadness, desperation, doubt, fear, unworthiness, and shame.

To put things simply, I'm human. I'm an imperfect person who has many faults and has gone the majority of her life trying to please others and feeling like a failure when I didn't. There has been a lot of soul-searching going on and as I continue to dig deep, I continue to learn more and more about myself and the person God has created me to be. I definitely don't have all my ducks in a row, but God is guiding me, loving me, and revealing Himself to me each and every day. Most importantly, I'm learning to live my life in a way that is pleasing to God, rather than man. Because let's face it, it makes no sense trying to please others when they are just as much a mess as I am.

With that being said, there have been moments - sometimes even days - where I have felt that God just wasn't listening to me and could care less about what I was feeling or going through. Many times I was mad at Him. There were times I yelled at Him. And, yes, there were times I even questioned my faith in Him. But my Father loves me too much to let me go that long without experiencing His presence....

As all of this was unfolding, I was still attending church whenever my work schedule allowed and well, I found that the more I wanted to walk away from God, the more He was drawing near to me. There was a particular Thursday evening when I was at Connect, my church's young adults group, that the worship team played a song called "This is Our God." I remember being overwhelmed with emotion as each word was sang and as I fell to my knees, I sobbed...and sobbed...and sobbed some more.

The following Sunday, guess what song the worship team played? "This is Our God." And the following Connect? And the next? "This is Our God."

After the third time, I remember telling God, "Okay, okay...I get it!" But He wasn't done making His point - He wanted me to have a tangible reminder. Ironically, the fourth time the song was being played, there were technical issues and we didn't have the words up on the screen to sing along to. So here comes one of the leaders with song sheets, one being the lyrics to "This is Our God."

To this day, when I read over the lyrics, I can't help but get goosebumps and whenever I doubt the nature of our God, I will remember this song.

From my heart to yours...I hope He is your God in times of good, bad and the unknown.

This is Our God

A refuge for the poor,
A shelter for the storm,
This is our God

He will wipe away your tears,
And return your wasted years,
This is our God

So call upon His name,
He is mighty to save,
This is our God

A father to the orphan,
A healer to the broken,
This is our God

He brings peace to your madness,
And comfort in our sadness,
This is our God

This is the one we have waited for,
This is the one we have waited for.
This is the one we have waited for,
Jesus, Lord and Savior...
This is our God

A fountain for the thirsty,
A lover for the lonely,
This is our God

He brings glory to the humble,
And crowns for the faithful,
This is our God

~Brooke

'A Gentle Art'

The March issue of San Pedro Today has been out for more than a week now, and for this particular issue, I contributed two stories: one about San Pedro High School softball player Bryana Simpson, and the other about San Pedro's very own Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Club.

Bryana is the first athlete to be featured in the magazine's newest addition, "High School Athlete of the Month." And I can't think of anyone better to kick-off the new feature. Bryana is quite the all-star, both on the field and in the classroom. The high school senior currently holds a 3.5 GPA, proof as to why the Carson resident attends San Pedro High as part of the San Pedro High School Math and Science Magnet Program. Her senior year marks her fourth year as a member of the school's varsity softball team and when she has time, the 17-year-old volunteers at the Urban Youth Academy at Compton College.

Bryana recently signed with Concordia University as an outfielder and will begin at the university this fall. Needless to say, this teen is talented and I wish her and her family the best!

The March issue also includes a feature I did on San Pedro's Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Club. I visited the club a few months ago and had the honor of being introduced not only to the club's owner, Pedro Soriano, but also to the art of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

In short, the sport - as Pedro would say - is 'a gentle art,' one that is strike free and focuses on the scientific nature of fighting, relying on an individual's balance, pressure points, leverage, and gravity in order to execute specific movements. The feature goes into detail of the sport's history in Brazil and the United States and also includes the club's hours and rates.

The club is currently preparing for an upcoming tournament and I wish them all the best success!

~Brooke

Just Do Good

This past Saturday, I had the privilege of spending the day in Compton as part of a program called The Compton Initiative. To give you a little background, the program was started in 2005 by Emmanuel Reformed Church (the church my family and I currently attend) in an effort to bring healing to a neighboring city.

The church made a 40-year commitment to the city of Compton and as each workday comes and goes, more and more churches, businesses, non-profit organizations, and volunteers have come out to turn the city around.

Last Saturday's workday was my first and in more ways than one, I was blessed. Connect, the young adults group I'm a part of, was assigned to Longfellow Elementary School, where we were responsible for painting six murals on three handball courts and repainting the school's hopscotch, dodgeball, and foursquare courts.

The murals were designed by one of Connect's leaders and each had an inspirational message: acceptance, respect, leadership, cooperation, ambition, and responsibility. They were creative in design, vibrant in color, and gave so much life to the school's dreary schoolyard.

The school's principal (pictured above in green), as well as a handful of teachers, parents and students, stopped by and spent most of the day helping in any way possible. The school's staff was more than generous and accommodating, as they provided extra equipment and even cookies and punch!

When all was said and done, the principal was in tears as she thanked us for our service. And she said something that will stick with me forever: "Don't ever think that all you did was just paint murals and lines, because what you did proves to these kids that someone does care about them and their school."

I remember when I was attending Carpenter Elementary School in Downey we had a ceremony that unveiled a new mural on our handball court and being really excited about it. To this day, I can drive by the school and still see it. Without a doubt, the murals we painted will leave a last impression at Longfellow Elementary School. I just wish I could've been there on Monday when the kids arrived...I can just imagine their excitement.

We'll be out in Compton again May 2, June 27, Sept. 19 and Nov. 21, so if you're interested in helping out, let me know and we'll make sure to put you to work!

Oh, and the mural that is pictured above is the mural my team of six worked on! Talk about teamwork!

~Brooke

In honor of the rain...

One of my favorite poems by the great Shel Silverstein...

Rain

I opened my eyes
And looked up at the rain,
And it dripped in my head
And flowed into my brain,
And all that I hear as I lie in my bed
Is the slishity-slosh of the rain in my head.

I step very softly,
I walk very slow,
I can't do a handstand--
I might overflow,
So pardon the wild crazy thing I just said--
I'm just not the same since there's rain in my head.

~Brooke